Chips Castle

It fills me with delight to see you angry and frustrated at things I did. Way too much delight. Feels good, man.

A little pettiness makes the world go 'round, yeah?

So. Watched Twilight. An inevitable thing, as I thought it would be, considering I'm a girl, and this thing is massively popular among the female population, including my friends.

So how was it, you said?

Well . . .

Well. Screw Bella, gimme vampire!Dad/Edward anyday. That scene when he turned Edward? Holy shizzle, I think I moaned a bit. RPattz looks positively indecent writhing on a bed like that. I couldn't care less about the series, but there needs to be fanfics (yes, fucking plural) on this pairing.

Now, as for the rest of the movie . . .

What rest of the movie?

Seriously, the entire thing is flat as a board. Flatter than a board even. No real drama, no real romance, no real suspense, no nothing. This thing is positively a goddamn blackhole of cinematic stimulation. Sure is pretty looking, but that's just about all it got going for it.

The sparkle though. Oh my god, that was . . . that was . . . I dearly wished for a moment there that I was watching this movie with fandom members of the Twilight mockers variety. At least then someone would've understood why I laughed like an idiot. Yes, girls, I know, I know, Edward is the hottest thing since forever. But. But. He sparkled in sunshine. Sparkled. LOLCOPTER.

Also, this movie took almost two straight hours. Two straight hours in which pretty much nothing happened. Me thinks they should've cut those miaka-tamahome-esque lines, and just jumped straight to making out. Those lines were retarted in the 90s, and they're no less retarded now.

But, eh, I bought good snacks and drinks before going in. Best food investment ever. Certainly made it worthwhile. But then again, potato chips make just about everything worthwhile. ;)

Those used to kindness are squicked by violence, and those immune to violence can be undone by kindness.

My goodness, how simple the equation actually is, huh?

So . . . how can you master both then, if they pretty much obliterate each other on sight?

I suppose I've now officially joined the rank of those who hate their family. At least it's not my immediate family. They are very decent people; I lucked out that much.

Friends are god's apology for your family indeed.

Between my deodorant, my body lotion, and the optional flavour-of-the-month perfume and my sweat, I never understand how anyone can be expected to smell like any one specific product.

Or is it actually impossible, and I've been doin' it right all along, and I'm the only one who doesn't realize it?

But, dude, then why all that pain to ensure your product has the bestest, most uniquest, most speshful nose-pleasing smell evar? Hell, for that matter, why the goddamn perfume industry? And why the outrageous prices?!

. . . you know what, at this point I can't even remember what I was actually trying to say.

Screw it.

Moral of the story: Rexy leaves her house each day smelling like a hodgepodge of extracts of dead things. Nice hodgepodge of extracts of dead things. The end.

So I got my ass kicked by The Undying on top of that fucking Bahamut. Probabaly inches from killing that last boss nicely dead too. In case this somehow isn't obviously clear yet, I fucking despise this world.

Note to self: fuck that Arise shit, and just Phoenix Down the everloving shit out of your teammates' asses next time.

In other news however . . .

FAMITSU GAVE A PERFECT SCORE FOR THIS PIECE OF CRAP??!!?!

Now, to be fair, I love Ivalice. Sure it has some seriously claustrophobia-inducing dungeons, and I still give involuntary twitches whenever I think of that Ridorana shit of DOOM, but for the most part I find myself loading up my saved game with the kind of happy glee I usually associate with old time favorites.

I enjoy the battle system, and the ability to run around a continent, literally, like a permanent five years old. (I miss the ability to do death defying acrobatic shenanigans, but I suspect that's just me spoiled rotten by Kingdom Hearts.) I enjoy the in-game economy. I would've said I enjoy the various weapon choices, except I'm a total spear fanatic, and it would've been a filthy filthy lie. I fucking enjoy hunting. ( . . . Montblanc's praises make me absurdly happy. I may or may not have blushed that one time. I'm trying my damnedest not to think about this shit too deeply.) I like the characters and their design, up to and including Ashe's pink excuse of a loincloth and Fran's metal thong. I'm fucking in love with the license system. (The aforementioned pink-clad sweetcheeks is my party's main hart-hitter. What?) In short, I have to say that Ivalice contains a lot of elements that I'm positive have now totally ruined me for other RPGs for life.

But the story.

The goddamn motherfucking story.

You know what the worst thing is? It could've been seriously EPIC.

The set up is good. The background is adequate. Character development is not just a myth. The world building is marvelous. The pace was nice. It was . . . it was . . .

It was shaping up to be one grand fucking adventure, and the next second the game went, 'LOL, Bahamut falls, everyone dies! The end!'

We haven't even touched Rozarria! And those creeps Occurians' background! (Did they spring out of thin air, whut?! Oh, and by the way, Squeenix, this whole little history dictator thing was already done by Houshin Engi eons ago, and done much better.) Why can that street rat Vaan see Rassler?! (I don't care what the game says, that was not Reks.) And the other gazillion tiny loose threads?!

What makes me so furious is that the introductory part of the story was splendid. Then we hit that sword/stone chase part. I was all, 'LOL, they're gonna use these motherfuckers of a silly excuse to force us to run all over Ivalice, aren't they? Ah, who cares, it'll pick up again later.' And I truly believed that. I was so goddamn happy to be done with that Ridorana motherfucker, thinking that, now that the whole hide-n-seek game from hell was over with, the serious part of the story could begin.

. . . only to found out that that was the end.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGG!!!!1111!

What's with the heaps of praises?! Is the average standard of RPG plotline so goddamn low, this kind of shitty storyline can pass as a fucking masterpiece?! (God, I feel dirty even typing that. FF12's story and the word masterpiece shouldn't ever ever exist in a same sentence without some kind of negation involved. EVER!)

. . .

Fuck it. 'M gonna boot up my console and chase the next Esper. Oh, Ivalice, you're such a wonderful place; why must your story fail so? I'm only asking for perfection, is that really too much? T_T

It just occured to me that nobody would've so much as batted a damn eyelash at all these stunts I'm pulling if my name had been, say, Paris Hilton.

No, I still haven't finished laughing yet.

If there's ever a solid proof that sanity is relative . . .

The thing with J-Pop --or K-Pop, or T-Pop, or whatever they're calling that breed of Westlife's eastern brethren nowadays-- is that... 9 times out of 10, their so-called music sucks balls.

And I can't give a damn.

Because I'll be too busy fapping to the music vids (or the other gazillion promo activities in which those 'singers' do just about everything short of declaring themselves sex-slaves for hire for the fans) to do any crap involving anything resembling higher thought functions.

God, I love eastern boybands.

The damned thing about Harry Potter is that, once all is said and done, and then shaken loose from that ever present Harry-filter, there's close to nobody in that book who isn't a fucking bastard who deserves at least several good solid kicks in the crotch.

In fact, had Voldemort been sane, I'm actually quite likely to support him over the supposed Light. He might possibly be a gigantic asshole, but at least I can count on him to be honest about it. And really, why not? I mean, what's the worse the guy can do? No truly miserable nation can last for long, so if he seriously wish to hold on to that seat as the dictator/king/emperor/queen of Wizarding Britain for the eternity he's worked his ass off to achieve, then like it or not he better damn well do some honest to god governing, yeah?

Of course, the keyword here is 'sane'. Sadly, sanity is one commodity canon!Moldywarts doesn't really have much supply of. Really too fucking bad, that.

What's that? Morality?

Oh.

...well.

...............well.

One of these days I'll buy myself some, I promise! Honest! ...it's just too much pain in the ass, and so damn expensive, and, really, isn't pr0n more useful anyway? I mean, No! Nope. Of course not! One of these days, really!

Why hasn't anyone written this book?

Because if we have to lose our minds, some of us damn well wish to do it politely.

Some people understand life. Some understand it so well, they scarcely ever bother to take it seriously in any capacity not falling under comedy.

I like this kind of people a lot.

I wonder if it's this journal I should be using as an actual online diary instead on my LJ. You know, keeping fandom and private life separate and all? Might not be a bad idea.

This place is quiet among other things. (Well, my corner of it, at least.) I like that for private writing.

Which . . . may not make a drop of practical difference actually, seeing as I private lock anything really personal. And use codenames to represent any RL object or person. And just omit as much personal identifying details as possible from my posts.

Holy cow, I'm one paranoid bastard. XD

Academia wank:

"We may be as prone to wanking as the most delicate Unique Snowflakes out there in Teh Intarwebs, but we're fapping educatedly, dammit! i.e. My e-penis shiny big words, lemme show you them."

Also, WHOA, that was one of the most passive-aggressive shit-flinging I've EVER seen. To have a merry round of 'FUCK U!!1 - NO U1!!' in that much saccharine-coated politese bullshit . . . those people are l33t. 8DDD

This is almost as entertaining as fandom. Almost. Unfortunately, academia world is severely lacking in the pr0n departement. Insta-LOSE.

How come my old faculty was never anywhere near this lively . . . ?

Anyway. Random observation of the day:

Near? Looks about 1000% better with no pants. How much would I have to bribe LJ to sic Frank on him?

Stages of fandom shipping:

1. YAY HET!

2. The Ghei. It exists. It's fabulous. THOSE HET NAZIS LIED TO MEEEE!!

3. Everyone's fucking bi. NOW WHO WANTS AN ORGY? 8DD

Anyway.

HOLY COW, is that LelouchxC.C sitting in my OTP list? Is it?! When did this happen? . . . HOW did this happen?! I-- You-- Bu--

*CRIES OF AGONY*

. . .

Fine. FINE. I give up. C.C is a million different shades of hot, and I'm her bitch. If she wants to bang Lulu, then so be it. A Lulu is fine too. See, C.C? See the things you make me do?!

It's kinda sorta very hot too. I mean, the kinky play potential . . . *AHEM*

. . .

This means Suzaku has just been ditched by practically everyone. LOLZ.

Or. Adam Suzu and Eve Lulu can wake up later on all alooooooooone in that nice island, all nice and conveniently amnesiac, and somehow then decided to built their very own Gheiland together in exile.

*rereads last paragraph*

That's it Rex, time to cut back on the crack yaoi doujin.

If all goes well, this will be my first ever multiple-journals posting done through Semagic.

*crosses fingers*

Testing, testing, testing. No, I'm not gonna break out the Lorem Ipsum. Nuh uh!

Here be blockquotes. Long live blockquotes.

. . . if I, hypothethically, were to call Rule 34 on blockquotes, what would I, hypothethically, get? Do I even, hypothetically, wanna know?

I put some smilies here in the first version, and there was the birth of a genius and brilliantly innovative new smily that nobody EVER has ever thought of in the whole history and un-history of the damn world wide web. EVER. EVER. BELIEVE IT!! DATTEBAYOOO!!! But IJ said it was nothing but invalid HTML, and killed it. KILLED IT.

I have no reason to live anyore. *ANGSTANGSTANGST* At least until some dashing seme comes, sweeps me off my feet, and heals all that ails me with his Magical Healing Cock.

What was I doing again . . . ?

New journal, first entry! ♥

So. I ended up being one of the fandom members testing out waters for a home outside LJ afterall. Nothing is sure yet, but staying on LJ is looking more and more icky by the moment. The sharp contrast provided by squeaky's warm welcome and reassuring customer service so far isn't helping LJ's case any either.

The customer service and fandom related policies also wins IJ extra points against GJ.

And the newer LJ codes used, the enticing free features (100 icons for free-inmates? WIN.) and the overall ease of use puts them ahead of JF.

They're missing some of LJ's layouts, but they do have Bloggish available and, hell, I think that's one of the best layouts LJ has when you want to stay default. Words are, they're actually pretty good for some CSS-remodeling too. A pretty good deal all around, I'd say.

And. $40 for a permanent account . . . ? Fuck it, why do I currently reside somewhere where PayPal doesn't reach?!!?

*RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR*

. . .

*cough*

That is to say, nope, haven't had a single reason to even remotely regret signing up here.

Anyway, ball's on your court now, LJ. Will you drive me away? Will I be ping-ponged between you two like Ichigo is squashed between Rukia's inhuman cuteness and Inoue's impressive boobs?? WILL NARUTO EVER GET THAT DAMN CHANCE TO KICK SASUKE SQUARE ON HIS BALLS AT LAST?!

Very Important Questions. We'll see, we'll see.